Hello my name is Samantha.
I live in New York.
This is here for memories pretty much.
My adventures w. my loves.
An Intake on my life.
&+ things that I like to share with you guys that I take interest in.
If you'd like to leave comments or question, by all means go ahead & feel free to contact me.
-Love always, Sam
The thing I love the most is going through songs and realizing how each one can take me back to a different place, remind me of certain things and bring back different memories. They can make me feel happy or upset or mad but whatever emotion it brings, it makes me remember. It makes me remember the good and the bad in a positive way. In a healing sort of way. I like that feeling.
Your going to lose your self.
In love. If you keep reminding your self everyday on your away that you love them so dearly(you don’t the need the effing internet to assure your love). , or even when you get in to a small fight because of no trust Your losing your self. When you panic your self to cater to there every happiness, when your curious of who they talk to and fear they might leave you, when you make up excuses for to as why they are acting up, or repeatedly aim them trying to make things work. Maybe thats because it’s not mean’t to work out. Why can’t one be realistic. If the one you love is acting like a total complete ass. Lying to you dead in your face & Makes the rules for you but there isn’t a vice versa to the situation, just a one way road. What happiness do you excatly find? Maybe your still in love of the idea “what use to be” & that quite frankly sucks. Its one thing having a relationship and knowing that it was good while it last, and another when your still holding on to absoultely nothing. I honestly have had one great committed relationship, & I find my self lucky that I didn’t have to go threw with any of the on going bullshit, Mine was rather more straight to the point & clear. It ended. BUT I got more than I expected and I think that was because I didn’t expect much, We keep it cool, simple & sweet … well not always simple, but we we’re happy until reality slapped us in the face. Change came if I liked it or not &+ I knew he was going to enter a new world when he went to college. If I could have changed one thing it would have been the way I handle “the break-up”. You see it was one of those break-ups where as he went away for vacation and he smoked alot of pot, came back as an asshole, and I guess he realized he had a lot of options out there and that he didn’t want to settle. We never discussed it. My bestfreind basically handle my breakup. We didn’t confrim it till 2 weeks later (after I came back from vacation). & it went like this
Me: Hi, Are we really over? (Me pasting the halls hoping that this whole thing blew over)
Him: Yea. I’m playing games now.
I’ve gotta admit that did hurt. Hurt physically for about 5 months & mentally it was annoying. If you had a word to describe me it would be “Resilience” I ALWAYS bounce back quick & kept it moving cause I always saw it as “life goes on”. I guess thats what happens with your first* huh?
I did want to keep this short, So to end this whole thing. I appericated going to bed and waking up next you in the mornings. You kid napping me when my mom kicked me out. lol Doing things that I didn’t need to tell you to do, You helping me in ways people that I knew for longer than you couldn’t even compare to. Lets cut this short shall we? I learned that I loved you too much. Way to much. I lost my self. I was’t in love with idea of you because you we’re the real thing, Until change. but I’ve gotta admit I think so far I had you at the best Boo YAH!. lmao.
You weren’t my world, Oh no. Fuck that. You we’re my milky way. &+ I adored you.
I’m glad I had the experience. But I learned somethings that I should & shouldn’t do.
Just note to always put your self first ESPECIALLY IF YOUR STILL YOUNG.
Your world shouldn’t revovle around them completely.
Now it’s back to my old ways & the never ending advices from my mother =)
Sounds great right?
I still can’t commit, but that just come with going back to my old ways
Well it isn’t all that bad, but I’m pretty occupied with the new people in my life, My goals, and my crazy escapes to god knows where. I’m okay after all.
Oh btw. Him & I are still friends. =)
We hang; when he comes back from college
& We go about our business as if nothing has ever happened lol (sadly)
Because I love you, love
I like the fact that Jay-z just basically dissed rappers in his new song
I like the fact that the pain that I expected isn’t there at all
I love the fact that I’m able to step aside and make realization about things
I like the fact that I’m able to ctrl atl delete people out of my life
I don’t like the word best friend anymore. Just be my friend please =) &
I love the fact new people are coming into my life
I like the fact that only three simple word sums up life ” life goes on”
I like the fact that right now, it’s all about me, and it might sound cliche but it never goes out of style.
I love the fact that I’m improving
& I like knowing that. I don’t need you period.
I love personalities, even the shity ones too cause there always seem to be something attractive about there ego at times.
I’m not the happiest that I can be right now, but im satisfied with alot.
& now I know, just listen to your mother & never question her morals ha!
My dearest Nikki, My life line, keep the beat going please =)
Malcolm, I highly think that your a gift for girls who wants a good man to always treat her right, too bad I don’t have the love bugs for you.
I’m glad to know that Akua will always is THE BEST EFFING listener, and she doesn’t only listen but she speaks the truth, all these years she still hasn’t changed.
I guess it’s a love like situation kiddo ;)
AHHHH CREAMCHESSEEE!!! HA.